My platoon has a new mascot: District Teddy Bear Snuffles. Snuffles says all the shit we wish we could say on air but don't for fear of being fired.
The base model comes with the following phrases programmed in:
"Just go to your fucking call."
"Did I say I had vehicle information?"
"Suck it up, princess."
"Just stop. Stop talking. I stopped listening 15 seconds ago."
There's gotta be a way to bastardize a Teddy Ruxpin. Stay tuned.