Friday, October 15, 2010


TO:  Officer Goldilocks
FROM: Dispatcher S. Pants
RE: Proper key up procedure

Keying up on the radio with nothing but the sound of your call sign and the engine revving makes me think bad, vehicle pursuit-like things. I nearly broke an ankle getting back to the keyboard only to have you ask me to re-open the phone assignment you were on for a wallet theft.

You are now solely responsible for the bad district ju-ju that will surely follow. A big dump of adrenaline into a dispatcher's system and nothing to channel it into only leads to bad things. Very, very bad things.

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