Sunday, July 4, 2010


Thus far this weekend, I have received the following overly creative complaints for fireworks:

Too close to the house (nothing on fire)
Sparks shooting over the street (nothing on fire)
Excessive fireworks
Loud fireworks
Excessively loud fireworks
I don't know the people setting off the fireworks
I know the people setting off the fireworks, but I don't like them
The people setting off the fireworks don't apear to have the appropriate safety equipment nearby

To which nearly every officer has responded with some variation of "it's 4th of July, are you fucking kidding?"


  1. Dear Dispatcher SP,
    Ha, yes! I'm not in law enforcement, but I do know my public . . . . For minor explosives: Twice a year, one hot, one not.

    It's a small-minded world, and those who have fun step all over those who don't, and then those who don't step all over somebody else.

    At least it's over for another six months. Good luck Sassy! I wish you well.

    Ann T.

  2. better then here - we not only get the fireworks, we get the ghetto version of all the guns shot into the air...

    one of the things I don't miss about working midnights.

  3. Over here we have November 5th (Bonfire Night) to celebrate a guy, named Guy, who tried to blow up Parliament. There was also a religeous reason behind all this, but thats long forgotten. BUT, it doesn't stop our lower echelon citizens from making false calls and then letting rip, as our units turn into the killing zone, with rockets fired down scaffold poles. Bazooka alley! How very British. Happy 4th SD!

  4. Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
    The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
    I see no reason
    Why the Gunpowder Treason
    Should ever be forgot.

    (Now, being that I am but a Yank, I am only familiar with this little ditty because of V for Vendetta.)

    I can definitely say I've never had a report of fireworks being fired *at* police. I like to think my lower echelon (stealing that, love it) citizens are smart enough to know that will probably get them shot!

  5. OK, a quickie on history. Gunpowder Plot involved many conspirators but the main player who we remember on Nov 5th is one Guido "Guy" Fawkes. He was caught trying to blow up Parliament, having amazingly smuggled barrels of gunpowder down into the cellars. He was nabbed on Nov 5th 1605 and, in true British style, was tried, convicted, hung, drawn and quartered. He came from York and drank in a few pubs in a town not 4 miles from where I'm typing this - it was over 400 years ago - God this country's old - Oh, shouln't have mentioned God because the plot was also mired in Catholic/ Protestant hatred. And to show we're still pissed at him, we remember it every Nov 5th and burn his effigy. Hey ho.

  6. Well thank you for the history lesson Mr./Constable? Hogday, quite brilliant!